Everything Is Terrible

I was so excited to get this movie I could probably have produced a patronus. Its hundreds of horrible videos chopped up into thousands of clips agressivley edited into a brain melting sh*t storm. No other way to describe it. Is it art? No, but its an impressive experiment in editing none the less. There are loads of special features that justify the $20 for the movie. All of EIT's greatest hits, 3 minute movies and music videos can be found in some of the most frightening menus ever. The whole package is such a unique experience it now holds a place next to my PAL region Vengeance Trilogy as a crown jewel in my collection. Yes that's me gloating.

DUANE/10

Mother

Great movies come from Korea and when they get a wide release in America its a fairly safe bet that they are going to be awesome. Mother is Joon-ho Bong's latest effort and its quite an improvement over his earlier films like Memories of Murder and The Host, both of which I enjoyed. There is a dark humor here that reminds me a bit of the Cohen brothers like in Fargo and A Serious Man. There are a lot of laughs but most of them come from the quirkiness of the characters rather than gags. The pacing really helps move this two hour murder mystery along with plenty of plot twists, beautiful cinematography and great acting across the board. Hye-ja Kim in particular is wonderful as the worlds most neurotic mom. There is very little here to criticize Mother is a solid film from start to finish and deserves your money.
9.3/10

The Darth Bane Trilogy

Sure the final installment of the Darth Bane trilogy is the first book I have finished this year but you know what? Nothing else out there has Sith Lords frying folks with force lightning or rooms of people clawing their eyes out due to Sith sorcery. Nothing. Its so wonderful to fall in love with Star Wars again, though I find that happens at least once a month for me. I can't think of a better Star Wars series. While not the highest of praise these are the most accessible books next to the Tales series e.g. Bounty Hunters, Empire and Cantina due to the fact that they require only the movies as a prerequisite. If you find yourself bored why not give these guys a spin you can kill all 3 in less than a month and enjoy some quality Star Wars fun.

R.I.P Jun Seba (Nujabes)

Do you remember a time in your life when you heard or saw something that changed your life forever for the better? A moment when you were exposed to something beautiful and new and there was no turning back? I will always remember being 18 sitting alone at home when this crazy Japanese cartoon called Samurai Champloo came on. I had never seen anything so freaking cool in my life but more importantly was the music. I'm going to go ahead and say it, Jun Seba is to Samurai Champloo was John Williams is to Star Wars without their music things are just not the same. I can't even begin to guess how many times his music has highlighted my life whether it be on a walk, at a party or just relaxing with friends. For the last 5 years Nujabes has been with me though all the hard times and the best of times, his music was the music of my life and I know I will never hear anything as unique again. I'm truly heart broken. Jun Seba left us on February 26th as the result of a fatal car crash his death has just been recently reported in America.

Meatball Machine

Take a good look at that picture. Surely you understand that no words can better describe Meatball Machine than that picture. Funny enough the first half of this movie has a pretty decent story to support the hyper violent gore. Unfortunately but not unexpectedly it bleeds out too soon leaving the final conflict a boring and poorly edited mess. We never wanted much from you Meatball Machine just some mutilated flesh and on that promise, you delivered.
6.7/10
Makeup effects and puppet fans need only apply

Youth of the Beast

What a treat 2 awesome yakuza flicks in a month! Youth of the Beast is easily the coolest most coherent gangster film I have ever seen come from Japan. Violence and jazz splash across the screen with style years ahead of its time. I want to put a real emphesis on how well the story flowed. Seijun Suzuki's later and more popular Tokyo Drifter was a bit too sporadic, while Takashi Miike's yakuza movies with a few exceptions tend to be strongly influenced by 80's and 90's American action movies thus ending up a bit lite on story. Youth of the Beast on the other hand shares elements of more traditional story telling bristling with all the turbulent energy of the 1960s. There is such an awesome sense of anarchy in Seijun Suzuki's movies that very few Japanese directors have managed to emulate.
Fantastic entertainment
9/10

Survival of the Dead

Most zombie movies are total garbage, as a zombie movie fan I have become accustomed to seeing box covers with things like "ZOMGBBQ ITS LIKE DAWN OF THE DEAD BUT SOOO MUCH BETTER" on them only to find out its worse than a lifetime original. No I do not want to watch druids fighting zombies, no you cant kill a zombie with a nun chuck, and no Survival of the dead, zombies do not ride horses nor can the be killed with a hot dog skewer. For every good thing Survival does it turns around and does something terrible. In the first 10 minutes we are treated to a great scene where people shoot their infected family members then we get gag like head shots, there is an awesome scene with a guy swimming across a shallow lake with zombies on the bottom only to have the tough male bad ass character light a zombie on fire, light his cigarette on the burning corpse then kung fu kicks that said zombie off the side of a boat. Why? No idea and the movie is full of moments like this. Survival never tries to hide the fact that its a western, at no point is it ever subtle but that's OK, it gives the film an energy that Diary of the Dead severely lacked. The acting is that of a typical Romero film, sparks of genius and incompetence but fairly steady when no one is zinging the undead with one liners. Now what really matters in a zombie movie is the gore but I'm afraid to say the man that pioneered shock is nowhere to be found here. There are a couple good face munches and a spinal cord here and there but the zombies feel awkward and non threatening. I am not a fan of this thinking zombie plot he has going on, it worked in Day and has progressively become worse with each film. I will say it again, ZOMBIES DO NOT RIDE HORSES, ZOMBIES DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHERE YOU LIVE SO THEY CAN EAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. Where the hell is my sequel to the remake of Dawn of the Dead?
6.5/10