3 days. That's how long it took me to finish Birdemic, the single worst film ever inflicted upon mankind. Every aspect of Birdemic is horrible, the kind of horrible that can only be brought on by the best of intentions. While the entire film is completely incompetent, I felt all the problems stemmed from the editing or lack there of. There were several minute-long driving scenes with no dialogue, actors staring at the camera for 3 whole seconds (I counted) before delivering a single word response, dubbed voices that were nowhere near in sync with the actors' lips, etc etc etc. On top of that, there is the lead actor. Our hero Alan Bagh walks like an alien trying to impersonate a human being and talks like one too. I have my eye on you Alan Bagh, there will be no more pod people on my watch! The rest of the cast is forgettable. Though thankfully the guy randomly pulling out a machine gun was a high point. No words can describe the computer generated birds, just go look it up on Youtube. The audio is also atrocious with volume changing from scene to scene and sometimes dropping so low you can't hear what anyone is saying.
Every scene has a flaw, if a drinking game was made around it you would die from alcohol poisoning. The one saving grace for Birdemic is Rifftrax. Without them the film is unwatchable, thank you kind sirs. If you love bad movies this is the holy grail. I can't believe I'm going shell out hard earned money for this but I figure it's my responsibility to pass it on as a warning to future generations. Hire an editor.
I feel like I need a nap.
