What do you do when the art of cinema hasn't progressed an inch all year?

MAKE A BEST OF/WORST OF LIST!!!!!!!!!!!
This was a bad movie year, it sucked I mean really really sucked. Don't believe me? check out this years top grossing films and tell me you don't weep for the future.

1.Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
2.Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
3.Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
4.2012
5.Up
6.Angels & Demons
7.New Moon
8.The Hangover
9.Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
10.Star Trek

OK LOOK SEQUELS, REMAKES, AND RECYCLED PLOTS! (I'm talking to you Up and Hangover)
Really though what the worst thing about all of this is that in 5 years who is going to remember Ice Age or Night at the Museum? Star Trek is the best thing up there and that movie was just insulting to anyone who ever actually gave a crap about Trek. So in the spirit of unoriginality I bring you my bestoworstorunnerupapolooza 2009!!!!

The Best
1. Thirst
Easily the best movie of the year. The subtleties of direction and acting are superb as well as Wook's signature story telling weaving a darkly humorous romance that stayed with me weeks after watching it. This is the Vampire movie people should be screaming about...









2. Inglorious Basterds
I love Tarantino because even though his films have flaws they have CHARACTER (GASP) yeah who would have thought that actors should have charisma and become someone larger than life? This film went over so many peoples heads when all it was trying to be was entertaining. Tarantino has always had a grasp on this and the craft of cinema which is why I am at a loss when I try to think of a better American director. Too bad a giant talking car didn't catch fire while fighting the romulans while falling in love with a wolf boy in some African detainment camp, now that would have been hella sick.






3. Ponyo
HOLY CRAP DID YOU EVEN SEE PONYO THE SINGLE GREATEST 2D ANIMATED FILM EVER? nope you must have opted out for that chances of meatballs crap that's now filling the discount DVD bin. Good call bra because the stunning hand drawn animation just looks old... Seriously though Its a masterpiece of animation with a genuine warmth that pixar can never achieve.

THE WORST



1. Paul Blart: Mall cop
This movie was on the ass end of every joke I made for a few months. Go ahead guess the plot, go on I'll give you 10 seconds to come up with a basic premise.......... Yeah now throw in some free running extreme sports burglars and you have the movie in a nut shell. This one was just embarrassing, not one laugh, not one smile, it just hurt...





2.Year One
ssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Hey lets play the same characters we do in our other movies but this time lets be something like cave men!" This signals the death of all that is new. Michael Cera I can count all the times you have made me laugh on one finger, my middle finger, fuck you. Oh and last time I checked Life of Brian did all your bits a million times better so please stop for the love of any god worth worshiping, just stop.





3. Dead Snow
File this one under biggest let down of the year. Zombies! Nazis! Drunken teens in the woods! Too bad they beat you over the head with awkward horror hipsterness(hey look a new word!) Rather than try to create a horror mythology of their own the sub-par cast relies on the camp factor from real horror classics like Evil Dead in the worst possible wink wink nudge nudge sort of way. And what is with lame rock music and snow mobiles? Does anyone outside Norway think this is cool? I also wonder what do teen stereotypes taste like? Anywho leave the horror to someone else Tommy Wirkola because you sir, are a hack.

RUNNERS UP


These two get the nod because they made me die laughing and not always because they were funny.

Happy 2009